Being lawyers sometimes means we have to be tough on people.
We have to file lawsuits or claims that can impact people financially and we take actions to help our clients that result in harming the interests of others.
Taking an adverse party’s deposition can be confrontational and difficult and we have to bring things out that can be embarrassing.
But that doesn’t mean we have to go out of our way to be unkind or callous to the opposing party.
I want to give an example from a recent weekend.
Joe Camerlengo, who is an avid Florida Gator fan, went out of his way before the Florida-Georgia game to help a fan of the other team.
Joe helped the poor Dog fan open up the car door to retrieve the keys he had locked inside.
If Joe hadn’t helped, four other Georgia Bulldog fans would have likely suffocated inside the car.
All kidding aside, it’s sometimes hard for us to realize that our work requires us to adversely affect the interests of others to pursue the interests of our clients.
It’s human nature to demonize the other side when pursuing our client’s goals and it’s harder to keep in mind the person on the other side has friends and a family, too.
I have worked with lawyers who were unwilling to consider the humanity of the opposing party and have found their approach generally led to an inability to understand the other party’s position in litigation.
“Seeing red” and always “going for the jugular” may give your client some temporary satisfaction, but usually results in your missing some important aspect of the case.
Understanding your opponent’s perspective leads to being able to anticipate his or her arguments, analyze his or her motivations and work toward agreeable solutions where possible.
“Going for the jugular” rarely leads to an ability to resolve the case on terms favorable to your client.
Of course, our clients sometimes truly hate each other and we have to filter through that hatred to be able to assist our clients to come up with workable solutions.
Naturally, we have to work with the attorney representing the other party. If we can’t discuss matters civilly, we can’t do our jobs.
But trying to have some empathy for the opposing party or witness, as well, is necessary and useful to do a good job in litigation.
We lawyers are generally a big-hearted group. Most civic and charitable boards in this community have an over-representation of attorneys and we provide much more free and charitable work than any other profession.
Our role makes us highly protective of our clients’ interests and we tend to personalize their goals and needs.
But we need to also realize that adopting our clients’ personal anger is usually counterproductive and hinders our ability to provide quality representation.
There is hope for us — even somebody as passionate as Joe Camerlengo can show kindness to a Bulldog fan. One day, Joe may go so far as to assist a Seminole in need (but I’m not holding my breath).